I was in the pub with my wife and I said, “The biggest problem I have with you is keeping your attention.”
She said, “Pardon?”
Tales From the Welsh Valleys
Daffyd lives in Blaenrhonnda at the far end of the Rhondda Fawr. He has no family except for Auntie Fanny, his mother’s sister. But Auntie Fanny went to live in Australia before Daffyd was born. So he’s never seen her.
Then, a couple of weeks ago, he got a letter from Auntie Fanny, saying that she was coming over to the UK on holiday and would love to meet him. So Daffyd arranged to meet her off the Cardiff train in Merthyr Tydfil railway station.
On that day he stood on the platform, waiting for the train to arrive. When the train came in, quite a few people got off. But Daffyd didn’t recognise any of them. He had never seen his Auntie Fanny before. He knew she was an old woman, but that was all.
In the end, Daffyd was all alone on the platform and the train had gone back to Cardiff. Then he saw an old woman come out of the toilet near the entrance gate. As he ran to meet her he saw that she was a toothless old crone with a face like a witch and skin like parchment.
‘Excuse me madam,’ pants Daffyd. ‘Are you Auntie Fanny?’
‘No,’ croaks the crone, grabbing his arm in a vicelike grip. ‘I’m all for it,’ she growls, dragging him into the toilet.