Tuesday, 6 October 2009


The Pope’s Visit to the UK

Cards on the table here, I’m a religious agnostic.

However, the Pope’s visit to the UK makes me think.

His basic message is that, ‘A country that turns its back on religion has lost its moral compass. And this opens up a vacuum that could easily be filled by undesirables.’

History provides plenty of examples to justify that point of view. And when I see the motley collection of vociferous clowns who have lined up too pooh-pooh the state visit of the spiritual leader of a billion people, such as …

Richard Dawkins … he of the God Delusion, 435 pages of criticism and Mickey taking that never comes up with an alternative …

Polly Toynbee … the loony left bird who writes for the Guardian …

Stephen Fry … a supercilious smart-arse who tweets for a living …

Sally Bercow … the weird wife of the weird Speaker of the House of Commons …


Peter Tatchell … leading light in Outrage, the Gay Action Group … whatever that entails …

… it’s enough to drive a man to God.


Monday, 5 October 2009


Signs of Ageing

Now and again something happens that makes me feel old. It happened just now on the bus. All the seats were full so I was standing there wondering if God still has a beard when I noticed this ginormous fat woman on the seat alongside me; jowls, breasts, belly buttocks and thighs gradually slithering over the seat and seeping into the isle, threatening to engulf me as surely as a Chinese mudslide.

As she struggled to her feet I was trying to work out how she was going to waddle home when she jellied off the bus.

But then she offered me her seat.

I was so upset I took it.


Sunday, 4 October 2009


We were in Marks & Spencer today and they’ve got a child’s bunk bed for sale. Someone’s marked it up as a Sleep Station.
Where do they find these people?