Poet on a Hill

Tuesday, 21 July 2009


Motorists who don’t use their indicators.
Does flicking your indicator switch before you turn
come under the heading of ‘multitasking’ or what?
You’d think so, when you see the number of people
who can’t manage it. Or maybe it’s manual labour or
or something. Only for the plebs. I think the answer
to the problem is to make make indicators an ‘optional
extra.’ Then all these dickheads with the flash wheels
and personalised number plates would be clamouring
for them so they could keep flicking them on and off
to show the rest of us how cool they are.

Then there are the guys who zoom on to the roundabout and
speed up so that nobody else can get on. Are these people
out of circuses or something? Can’t wait to go charging round
the ring. Maybe they dream about doing the Wall of Death
but don’t just have the bottle to try zooming up a building.
They should put the wife’s lipstick on and cover their faces in
flour. Because they are clowns – or ijits more like.

I ordered sandwiches in Morrisons and when they came there was
a packet of crisps with them. I didn’t order crisps. But they were
compulsory with the sandwiches. So I sent the whole lot back.
It’s a con. The crisps aren’t a free gift. They’re costed in with the
sandwiches. So Morrisons were trying to sell me a packet of
crisps that I didn’t want. And they’re not the only ones at it. I’ve had it in
pubs and hotels. Crisps are added to their sandwiches and salads.
Like I say – it’s a con. And the only way to stop it is to boycott all
the meals they put unasked-for items on.