Tuesday 29 September 2009

Wpl

Joy Upon Joys

You’re not going to believe this: but I’m in the house the other day when there comes this high pitched scream of utter abandonment, followed by wave after wave of moaning ecstasy. ‘Uncle Fred’s got one of his porn videos on,’ I tell myself, galloping from room to see which tele or computer he’s gawping at; don’t want to miss a trick

But no; he’s nowhere to be seen. I scuttle round again, looking for feet protruding from under beds or behind settees. People do funny things in funny places – but no luck. And still the din continues; ever higher; ever more delirious; joy upon joys …

Then I find them – behind a curtain; a couple of hornets having a shag on the dining-room window.

Being a man of compassion I let them finish before I kill them.

Wpl